I don't think I've ever been a huge astrology buff. I discovered my astrological sign about five or six years ago and it's certainly aided me on my journey to find my identity. Back then, I introduced a friend of mine to the world of zodiac and she instantly became obsessed. She is an Aquarius while I'm a Scorpio. She holds a lot of stock in the typical traits of her sun sign and what her daily scope predicts for her.


      I think part of the reason I'm not as obsessed is because according to the zodiac, Aquarius and Scorpio are such an unlikely match that its almost a miracle we get along. I've also found many of the daily horoscopes to be vague and unhelpful.
     However, that isn't to say I'm not a believer. In fact, I've spent hours intentionally researching key characteristics of the signs, important dates, how planetary alignments affect moods, and how cosmic occurrences can change the future. Out of all my friends, I am the go-to guru of astrology.
     This could very well be the reason I shocked my roommate last night with my lack of enthusiasm.
     Yesterday evening, there was a lunar eclipse in Leo. My roommate had just discovered the natural phenomena while she was conversing with a co-worker. She told me about it, and I all but shrugged in response. This was startling because I am the "go-to, excitable, astrological guru." I had known of the upcoming eclipse for weeks. I follow @scorpiomystique on Instagram, and I'd be a liar if I said I didn't read her scopes and posts daily. Therefore, I knew there would be a lunar eclipse last night and I also knew it was taking place in Leo.
    To be honest, I didn't know that from my location on Earth, I'd actually be able to witness the celestial craze. My boyfriend called me that night to go outside and look at it (he had just got off work and had seen it, thinking of me). That was when my roommate and I finally went outside in a frigid nine degrees Fahrenheit wearing nothing but leggings and a sweatshirt to marvel at the moon.
    I am thankful that I went out to see the eclipse that night. I am a poet (or, aspiring anyway) and I find moments like those to be very inspiring.
    However, the words my roommate spoke to me before we ventured out into the night shook me. She said, "You used to be excited about these things. What's happened to you?" And though I know she was only teasing, it sparked something in me.
    I've struggled the past year trying to balance adulthood with staying true to myself. Right before I entered my senior year in high school, before I landed my first job, before all of the bills and romance and friendships I encountered, I had felt like myself. Back then, I was more "me" than I'd ever been. I embraced many of my Scorpio characteristics. I found the strength to question my beliefs, form them, and to mold myself into the person I wished to be.
    But for the last year, I lost a lot of that. My days have become routine and bland. It wasn't until recently when I began to purposefully write again that I started to notice a change. Up until last night, I would dare say I've been waltzing around in a haze for the last year.
    Last night, a lunar eclipse took place in Leo. Why is this important? It affects me as a Scorpio. (To be fair, lunar eclipses affect all of the signs of the zodiac in some way, but as a Scorpio, I know more about my sign than anyone else's and this is the relationship I'm going to discuss). The lunar eclipse is about transformation. It's a time of rapid changes, growth, and new understandings. The fact that this particular eclipse was in Leo, means it brings with it, abundance, positivity, and hopelessly romantic desires (think the rose-colored lenses effect).
    Considering this, I've tried to focus on the feelings that followed this eclipse. I feel as if I am at my best. I want to take care of myself, splurge on things I've wanted for a little while, and treat myself to things I've been missing out on. Ariana Grande came out with a song called "7 rings." The song is about being content with yourself and splurging on things you want. With this transformative energy in the cosmos, I want to treat myself.
    I've made a decision to live for me a little more. No more bland routines. No more "work being my only outing of the day." I have decided to participate in this "self-care" movement, at least a little anyway. I think I need to find my power. I need to find that old excitement that I used to have about these kinds of things.
    I'm not a huge astrology buff. Though I'm wondering if I should be.