Deciding to take a gap year was probably one of the most life-changing choices I've ever made. It was a choice that would end up molding, defining, and changing who I am and the way I perceive living.



The first reason I decided to take a gap year, was because I wasn't ready for college.
     I had applied and been accepted to Columbia College Chicago. I paid my deposit. I knew what major I was going for. And I came really close to picking roommates for the future school year.
     However, I put some thought into it, and ended up deferring for a year. I was a senior in high school taking four AP college credited classes. That doesn't seem like a lot given there were seven classes in my school day, but for me, it meant more time and work. At the time, I was drowning in school work all in preparation for these AP exams. My grades were slipping; I didn't have any real motivation to do homework. Above all, I really couldn't keep up with my classes.
     On top of that, the thought of immediately moving out of my parents house and into a new city with people and places I'd never met was daunting. The move brought a lot of stress and concern my way. So much so, that it sort of turned me away from college completely.
      (You're probably wondering why I wouldn't just pick a local campus to attend if my problem was being far from my family. The reality is, I wanted to go to college BECAUSE of this school. I felt that in the end, it would be the most beneficial to me. And I still feel that way).
     I wasn't ready for more homework and tests. Or the immediate placement into a new city.

The second reason is because emotionally I wasn't doing too hot.
     Due to my failing grades, slipping motivation, and fear of the unknown, I ended up in a pretty bad mental state. I was overwhelmed with stress and depression. In February, the time I made my final decision to take a gap year, I had already missed numerous days of school because of my souring emotional and mental states.
     My dad had lost his job that January. My mom had expressed her desires for a divorce. I came down with strep and a kidney infection. It was a pretty rough time.
     I didn't think I could handle the mental weight of college. I needed a break. I needed a year to find myself again and drag myself out of a pretty dark place.
 
The third reason (though ridiculous) was because I met and fell in love with someone.
     In October, four months before I made my final decision, I got a job at Target. There, I ended up meeting and falling head over heels with a guy I met. We ended up dating and he quickly became my best friend. I made it clear from the beginning that I was going to college in Chicago and that I'd be moving next August. He decided that that was perfectly fine and he'd just enjoy my company while I was still in Indy.
    There was just one problem. We fell in love. And yes, I'm well aware of how ridiculous and cheesy that sounds. However, that is exactly what happened. Suddenly, the prospect of me leaving and the relationship coming to an end was more than enough to spoil some of the days we spent together.
     I actually heard about the prospect of a gap year from him. Before the moment he told me, I had never considered a gap year to be an option. But it got me thinking. And next thing I knew, I was deferred. At first, my parents would complain and accuse me of only taking the gap year because of a boy. And I made up excuses saying that there were a number of reasons why I chose to defer a year. Though, I didn't quite believe them myself. About eighty percent of the reason why I took a gap year is because I met and fell in love with a boy. And it is ridiculous.
    Although, when I really look into it, I realize that there does exist a few other reasons on why I chose to defer.

The fourth reason I chose to defer was due to money.
    This reason actually didn't even come to mind until after I deferred. I came to realize that by taking a gap year, I gave myself ample opportunity to save up some money before college.

It's been almost a year since my decision and I'm not sure if I regret it or not.
     There have been many benefits and many downsides since making the choice. On one hand, I got more time to mature and prepare for college. I've been able to focus on me. I've been able to heal a bit. I've had more time to embark on my aspirations. I've saved quite a bit of money, I've fallen deeper in love, and I've received opportunities to travel and explore.
     I've grown a lot since taking the gap year. For that, I am forever grateful.
     On the other hand, however, I didn't save nearly as much money as I had hoped. A lot of my income has been spent on rent, car payments, and travel. I have had to work a nine-five, full-time job which isn't necessarily something I enjoy doing. I haven't made many friends since graduating and I've only been in contact with a select few from high school.

     In the end, I am glad I took a gap year. If I could go back, there are certainly some things that I would do differently. However, I am happy with how I've matured and I'm excited to move on to the next chapter in my life with wisdom that I didn't have before.

     For anyone considering taking a gap year, I say do it. But there are downsides to taking a year off. Boredom is a killer. Though, you might very well find who you really are if you do take some time for yourself.
Taking a gap year is a gamble.