Amelia Wilson: May 2019

I have been slacking on blog posts AGAIN! What with summer finally here and everyone out of school, I’m finding myself spending more days in the sunshine! I’m going on more adventures, working more, and relaxing more. This has kind of set me back on blog posts.

However!

I finally finished this one! This post is just what it says, a list of my top ten favorite books and series. I tried to give more feedback on why I loved these books to make it more review like rather than just simple descriptions of the books listed.

Anyway, I hope you like it and let’s get to it!

Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored. This post includes affiliate links, meaning I earn a commission through links at no cost to you.

Harry Potter (series) by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter sort of defined a period of my childhood if I’m being honest. I read the books in the span of two months while I was in the fifth grade. I was eleven years old and, of course, instantly related to the first novel. (I ended up rereading the books at 17 and I don't know why, but it makes me happy to think about).

Anyway, this series really did change my life. I was (and still am) obsessed with the HP universe. The way I imagined things, played pretend, and read, all changed after reading the HP series. This was the first fantasy book I ever read and I fell in love.

Before the fifth grade, I preferred nonfiction (aside from The Magic TreeHouse series that I read in the third grade). And now, I prefer fiction and fantasy over everything else. I don’t know. I could go on and on about how the Harry Potter series changed my little eleven year old self. No matter what, this series will go down as my number one every single time.

Throne of Glass (series) by Sarah J. Maas

I didn’t take time to describe Harry Potter because I’m fairly certain the majority of people know what it is. Throne of Glass, on the other hand, may not be as well known. Essentially, the series follows a female vigilante on her journey to save the world. Why do I leave this so vague? BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY PLOT TWISTS AND DEATHS AND REVIVALS AND MAGIC AND IF I SAY ANYTHING I RUIN THE SURPRISE!

I honestly cannot explain anything beyond that vague statement. I remember reading the ending of book two and throwing it on the ground going “what the heck just happened?!?” Every book is like that!

I started reading the series after a book assignment over the summer before eighth grade. Since then, I’ve stuck with the series and read about one or two a year as they come out.

The first book follows Celaena, an infamous assassin, through a series of challenges to become the King's Champion. But of course, nothing is easy and you better bet there is some magical things going on affecting all of the characters.

This goes down as one of my favorites because the character development, world building, and suspense/surprises are AMAZING!

It’s definitely in my top 3 favorite fantasy series!

A Court of Thorns and Roses (series) by Sarah J. Maas

I’m not sure if this was supposed to be a trilogy or if it’s a series or what. There are four books now, but the fourth is a bit different from the other three...in POV and plot.

However, I really enjoyed this fantasy romance series. It follows another heroine type character who, through love and loss, ends up saving the world...kind of… The first book showcases Feyre, the heroine, getting caught up in the fae part of the world across the wall where she ends up finding love and the guts to take down the “curse” that has befallen the court that she ends up living in.

Maas, as an author, is really good at throwing in plot twists and changes. The first book is nothing like the last one in plot, characters, and setting (in a way). She basically shows you the world she’s created and then flips it upside down. It’s great.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane & Neil Gaiman in general

Neil Gaiman is by far my favorite author as of right now. I discovered his work a few years ago on a trip to the library (and technically speaking, long before that with Coraline. Though, I didn’t know it at the time).

The Ocean at the end of the Lane was the first book I ever read by Neil Gaiman and I fell in love! His genre is dark fantasy, with lots of thought provoking statements and story lines that veer towards horror. There’s a childish element to each book which makes it feel youthful and that much more terrifying. The Ocean at the end of the Lane follows a young boy through a wild summer: meeting a girl and her family who all practice magic, and his efforts to understand all of the changes that are taking place within his own house and family. For a small book, it’s quite complex.

This book remains one of my favorites because of the intense and fascinating story line, and because of the dark fantasy genre that I crave and love.

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

The Heart of Darkness was one of those classics that I had to read in high school. Notice I said “had to.” I went into this book thinking I was going to hate it. Boy was I wrong! I might have been the only student in my junior year AP Lit class that actually enjoyed this book.

The book exposes themes of human nature, human actions, and what it means to hold power. I LOVE talking about human nature and what it means to be human. I can’t quite explain why, but it really intrigues me.

I like Heart of Darkness for this reason. Also, I really enjoyed the symbolism, metaphors, and writing style in the book. I am a poet by heart.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

This is yet another book that I “had to” read in my junior year of high school. A friend of mine and I instantly fell in love.

On the Road is based on Jack Kerouac's journey and travels across the United States with his friends. The novel is written in such a way that it feels more like a series of stories strung together to create a bigger story (similar to episodes of a TV show to create a season). The novel includes a bunch of references to Beat culture showcasing sex, drugs, Jazz, poetry, and travel.

My friend and I were in LOVE with this book, or at least the purpose behind it, for quite some time. I’m not sure if it was this book or our desire to travel that sparked the idea of planning a trip to Europe together. But, that’s where we ended up so...

Call of the Wild by Jack London

I can’t remember the first time I read this book. Maybe in the seventh grade? I don’t remember. But I know I’ve read it about five times now. Time and time again, I come back to this book for its engrossing and philosophical story.

This is a classic, but for those of you who don’t know, this book follows Buck, a giant dog during the 1800’s gold rush. It is an adventure novel that depicts the life of sled dogs and their owners while asking pivotal questions about humanity, nature, obedience, and freedom.

The last time I read this, I highlighted quotes that really resonated with me. These quotes inspired me to the point of my desire to get a tattoo of one of them!

How to be a Queen (wattpad book)

This is a strange one and I am well aware. I told you I loved fanfiction yes? Well, here’s one of them! I don’t know why, but I am IN LOVE with this book. It’s not amazing quality or anything. It isn’t deep. It’s just a love story based on the story of Persephone and Hades.

However, i've managed to read this book three times now!

Essentially, the story asks this question: what if Hades never tricked Persephone into eating the pomegranate seeds? What if, in the 21st century, he finally decided to get himself a wife?

And of course the story follows the main character through trials and tribulations into becoming the wife of the God of the Underworld.

I can’t exactly explain why I like it so much. I’ve never been a fan of romance and this is one of the FEW romance stories that I actually enjoy!

Trigger Warning (short story collection by Neil Gaiman)

This was the second book I ever read by Niel Gaiman. Trigger Warnings is a collection of short stories written to inspire horror, unnerve, and uncomfortability in the reader. The stories are meant to “trigger” you.

I fell in love with this book. I am a lover of creepy, horrific, and dark literature. (Have you noticed?) I like asking the deeper and darker questions of life. This book does just that while still remaining a fun and thrilling read.

My favorites from this book are probably “Feminine Endings” and “Click Clacks and Rattlebags.”

I definitely recommend reading this!

Our Numbered Days by Niel Hilborn

I haven’t actually read the entirety of this book. I’ve read the majority of it, but not all of it. This might be one of my favorite poetry collections. The poem, Our Numbered Days touched me when I first read it.

I know it’s a little strange that I would include a book I haven’t fully read in my top 10 but I wanted to include some poetry, particularly some poetry that really touched me.

A lot of poetry books I read these days are too short and simplistic for my taste. And the poetry that I prefer to read is a style that hasn’t been put in book form yet (I find it mostly on Pinterest).

So, I included Our Numbered Days. It’s a really nice collection of longer poems with complicated themes. The friend who introduced me to this book loved Hilborn’s OCD poem. So, I recommend checking that out!

I hope this post gave a good list of inspiring books to read! These are my favorites and I hope that you check them out! I’m also considering doing a post about books that are amazing but I absolutely hated reading them. Let me know what you think in the comments below!

If you have any questions regarding this post or my site, feel free to email me at info.amelia.wilson@gmail.com.

If you liked this post, check out my What I’m Reading This Month series!

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A couple days ago, I posted on my Instagram story asking followers what my next blog post should be about. There was a recurring topic that you guys were interested in reading about, so, here ya go!

Mental health.

This is actually a perfect time to discuss such a topic as it is mental health awareness month. Therefore, I am pleased to write this post given the coincidental circumstances.

Now, mental health is a BIG topic. People can discuss all of the different illnesses, how to overcome them, symptoms, self-care, etc. I’m only going to focus on a few aspects of it. This post is going to be about what I know of mental health, what I do to combat symptoms, and a list of resources I’ve found that have helped me a lot (they might not be exactly what you were expecting!).

Before we dive in, I want to make a few things clear. I am by no means a mental health expert. I have had my share of experiences and I can only speak on behalf of those. I have struggled with depression since middle school, however I never wanted to admit it for what it was.

I’ve never been clinically diagnosed. And I’ve never been to therapy. This year was the first time I actually called out my depression for what it is, and that was back in January.

Alongside depression, I struggle with something called “maladaptive daydreaming.” It is not considered a disorder by the DSM-5 (the most recent American Psychiatric book of disorders), however, it has almost every trait necessary to be considered one. Maladaptive daydreaming is exactly what it sounds like: it’s excessive daydreaming to the point of negative interference in one’s life.

(I’ve actually been working on a small ebook version of this topic for a few months now. Surprise! Here’s a project reveal! Though, life and depression have stunted much progress on it, thus far).

So, these are my personal mental illnesses and below is a collection of my experiences and what I know on how to (sort of) combat them!

Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored.

What I know of mental health

Mental health is all about the state and condition our minds are currently in. When people refer to a “healthy” mind, they’re really referring to a mental state that receives no detriments that could interfere with the physical self.

A healthy mind wouldn’t be plagued by fear, doubt, sadness, stress, anxiety, unorganized thoughts, irrational feelings, etc. Common mental illnesses (that prevent the mind from being placed on a “healthy” scale) include depression, anxiety, and OCD. And on a more extreme scale: bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, dementia.

This is what I know of mental health.

If a person is experiencing an emotion or thought that prevents them from functioning normally in his/her life, then there is a mental illness at root.

I’ve struggled with depression for years. And even today, those who know about the condition don’t necessarily understand it. I can tell you everything I know of depression and how it’s affected me, but I can’t convince you to understand the logic behind a depressed person's thoughts or actions. I tend to isolate myself when depressed. I cancel on people and plans. I cry a lot. I text back “I’m too sad” too often. I lay around and sleep or waste my time only to regret it later.

I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts. I’ve struggled to get out of bed and take care of myself. I’ve forgotten to eat or drink water. The list of how depression has negatively affected me can go on for awhile.

I think it’s important for people to recognize the symptoms, the struggles, and the thoughts/emotions behind each mental illness. I’ll list a few below but these are only a few of many. Educate yourself. Learn about what others define as “mental illness” or “mental health.” The hardest part, for me, from struggling with depression was never my will to live, but my will to convince others why I have to fight for such a thing.

“The hardest part, for me, from struggling with depression was never my will to live, but my will to convince others why I have to fight for such a thing.”

How do we combat illnesses we can’t see?

If I take out the “how” in the statement above, the question seems more aligned to what I’m about to say. Do we combat illnesses we can’t see? Is it possible? Or, is our only trick staving it off for awhile?

For years, I’ve used daydreaming as a coping mechanism with my depression. Little did I know that maladaptive daydreaming is a disorder all its own. Beyond that, I’ve found expression through art and poetry. I put my thoughts towards projects and creation.

I combat my mental illness by giving myself no time to be alone and quiet with my thoughts. The happiest I am in work, home, relationships, you name it, is always when I am busy. I need to keep my mind and body preoccupied. Just, not enough that I get too stressed from it all.

When it comes to combating mental illness, EVERYBODY is different. Techniques that work for me won’t work for someone else. And some techniques for others won’t work for me.

We can’t erase a mental illness. We can medicate. We can go to therapy. We can busy/distract ourselves. We can put that energy into other things. But there is no magic eraser. The truth is, it’s not so much about overcoming mental illnesses to reach a healthy state of mind, but more of finding a way to dilute and control what reactions and actions we do partake in relation to our illnesses.

“We can’t erase a mental illness.”

I’ve been doing a ton of reading recently about journaling. A lot of sources are saying the same thing: that journaling can be a way we combat mental illness. I write poetry. I write scenes and moments, short stories. I haven’t been able to “get into” journaling (for whatever reason). But journaling can come across different for everyone and maybe it’s okay that my entries would all be poetry and fictional stories.

Listed below are a few links to journaling sites/articles that have inspired me. Feel free to check them out!

Journaling isn’t for everyone, but it’s the first and only suggestion I can make towards offering any ways to combat mental illness. Everyone is different. You just have to find what works for you and stick to that.

Savannah Totten “How to Heal Through Journaling”
How to journal for mental health
Journal prompts
Seasonjours @seasonjours on instagram
@bookishsmaug on Instagram

Resources that have helped me

Above, I’ve already listed a few resources that depict what mental illness is/what it’s like, and journaling inspiration. Now, I want to list and draw out more in depth opinions on some sources that have made a BIG change in my life. And as I said in my opening, not all of them are going to be what you might expect!

Pinterest is honestly my go to browser. I’m not joking. I think I live on Pinterest. This social media platform has helped me learn more about my depression and maladaptive daydreaming than any other I’ve browsed. I use Pinterest for educational purposes and for inspiration. Remember how I said I combat depression by staying busy? Well, this platform ALWAYS has a creative idea/hobby that you can start up!

Book browsing (in a store)

This isn’t so much a resource as it is an idea to help you “step away” from your illness for a bit. Browsing bookstores is a great way to get out of the house without overwhelming yourself. These places are always quiet, relaxing, warm, and welcoming. You aren’t required to buy anything. You can just peruse the shelves or maybe look for a specific book you want. I love reading and writing. Maybe that’s why this is such a beneficial resource for me. Sometimes I just wander the store aimlessly and leave. Sometimes I sit in their mental health or wellness section and read a little. Sometimes I intentionally search for books I want. Sometimes I buy books. Sometimes I don’t. It’s just nice to get out and look around.

Headspace (app)

Alright, I’m going to start off by saying that though this app isn’t free, it’s worth it. It’s all about mediation and cleansing the mind. For anyone who's ever dealt with a mental illness, THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE! Meditation, I mean. Headspace offers a bunch of different meditation episodes to help with sleep, anxiety, depression, and beginners to meditation. I personally like guided meditations more than personal ones because it forces me to focus and look into myself with certain questions that I hadn’t thought of on my own.

Daily mood tracking app

I’ve used mood tracking apps in the past and recently I’ve picked it up again. They don’t really help much in the moment, but after a few weeks, they become wonders to understanding our emotions. After using it for awhile, you begin to see patterns. You can see when you’ve dipped low, when you’ve been happy or anxious. And most apps allow you to write notes so you can check to see patterns on how your mood is affected by the outside world. There are so many different apps out there, so I encourage you to go through a few of them before deciding which works best for you!

The journal blog posts I’ve seen

So I won’t go into much detail on this one. I listed above why journaling is helpful, as well as a few links to get started. I don’t journal everyday. But I do write poetry, lists, thoughts, etc. I like to write stories when I journal. It’s certainly a beneficial thing, even if you aren’t a good writer. Nobody has to read what you wrote. It’s for you.

Additional resources I use also include: documentaries, Ted Talks, social interaction, and religious activities.

I hope this provided some inspiration on mental health, how to deal with it, etc. I am no expert, but these are things that have helped me.

If you haven’t already, you should check out my poetry book on Amazon and/or follow me on Instagram! There’s some pretty cool content in both!

Feel free to leave any comments or questions below or email me at info.amelia.wilson@gmail.com! I’ll try to get back as soon as possible!

Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored.

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