It feels like it has been decades since my last blog post. I used to post so frequently and intentionally. To be honest, I still have a number of blog post ideas in the archives, some are even written, half-written, or brainstormed. However, I haven’t posted them, or worked hard enough to get one post ready.
Why?
Simple. I’ve been too busy.
Now, I want to forewarn you that what I’m about to say can come across as hypocritical, but really, it’s not that I’ve been “busy” necessarily as it’s been that I’ve dedicated my energy to other tasks.
That’s the real problem.
I started my first semester of college this past August and it’s been such a wild ride. High School was never this hard nor this easy. In high school, you have to go to classes five days out of the week on a schedule that you didn’t make yourself. You have homework every night, and school becomes your life as it takes up 35 hours of the week. With college, you get to choose your schedule, only have to attend classes maybe fifteen hours a week, don’t have homework every night, and have more time to invest in other things.
Sounds great right?
The downside—things people don’t often mention—is that though the work is easier (in my opinion), and consumes less time, you still have to worry about money, actually going to class, the responsibility of freedom, and the consequences of only having a few class sessions/assignments that make up your grade.
Look, I love college. Don’t get me wrong. But college + work + living on my own, is difficult to juggle.
Suddenly, my free time has been devoted to watching Netflix and YouTube or sleeping.
So, I stopped posting on my blog.
Even worse, recently, I stopped posting on my podcast and on Instagram altogether. Life isn’t busy, it’s just that I don’t know how to manage my time and I’m too busy dedicating my energy to work and school and chores.
But this blog post isn’t called “how to balance life” no, it’s called “college stumped my creativity.”
I don’t want to blame college for taking away my creative innovative-ness, however, it has certainly shifted my priorities, resulting in a lack of creative expression...which is strange because I. GO. TO. AN. ART. SCHOOL.
If I’m an art school student and I’m struggling with a lack of creativity due to college, then you know it’s not just the system but something deeper.
I’ll be honest, school hasn’t put a damper on my creativity “technically.” In fact, I write almost every day and I LOVE it! Rather than writing blog posts though, I write fiction stories, nonfiction essays, poetry, observations, speeches, etc.
Some of it has actually turned into really inspiring and usable work!
It’s just that I put more of my attention on my assignment writing, and less on my blog and podcast.
My writing has definitely changed since the beginning of the semester, and I’m thankful for that.
At some point, I want to continue the blog and podcast. I’ve made some useless efforts at reigniting my creative spark for these passion projects. I’ve reached out to my readers asking for blog topic suggestions. And I’ve aimlessly written a number of posts that remain un-postable for the time being.
But the kicker is that college has turned my attention towards work and away from hobby.
College doesn’t “stump” creativity, it just moves it.
My work is certainly creative! I’ve written a number of short stories that hold some potential. But all this writing and work and adulting has pushed me away from hobbies.
I think, especially around this time of year when students are coming to a close with their semester, they feel the weight of wanting to do something for themselves but being too tired to do it. This is the make it or break it part of the semester. This is when hard work needs to kick in. I see a lot of people struggling with the seasonal depression and lack of will to achieve anything. And I understand it.
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As easy as it is for me to blame college, it just isn’t true.
We all feel this. This...writer's block...lack of creativity...artistic dysfunction...seasonal depression...whatever you want to call it. People who work forty hours a week feel it. Kids in school feel it. College students feel it.
Tis the season to devote your energy to everything except the things you want to right?
Sadly, there isn’t really a solution. I’ll have other posts in the future (I hope) that will dive into depression, fear of failure, lack of creativity, ect. For now, I want to express over and over again that though it feels as if the creative well is drying up, it’s really just about focus.
What do you want to focus on?
What is worth your time and energy?
The only solution that I have, for myself even, is try to redirect some of my focus. If I can put time and energy into my blog posts, or artistic passions, what will I gain? Will it make me happy? And if I redirect this attention, what will I have to give up? Is it worth it to give it up?
Life is about balance and I’ll admit that I’m still trying to figure it out.
This post wasn’t like my normal ones. This, to me, felt more like a rant but I hope it was slightly inspirational. In the end, we are the masters of our own fate, the creators of our own reality and it is up to us to prioritize the things that make us feel most alive.
If you like this post, check out some similar posts of mine below:
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You can also email me with questions or concerns you may have at info.amelia.wilson@gmail.com
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Disclaimer: All of the views and opinions in this post are solely my own and are not sponsored.
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